Tag: behavior

It’s All Good

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So, today, I ran across a link on Facebook that was one of those gifts that FB rarely offers up.  Here is the link to “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself:”

http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

I loved the pictures and the advice, but I could not help thinking that I would find it so much more effective if it had been stated in positive terms instead of negative [think, The Secret], so I rewrote it.  I did it for me, but I thought you might like to have a copy, too. We forget this stuff and it’s so important. I have to daily battle perfectionism, beating myself up for real and imagined failures, trying to do too much for others, and so many more of these toxic behaviors.  I forget to be grateful, I find myself complaining, and I allow others to rain on my parade.  So, here is my new more positively stated version.  You’re welcome :).

30 Things to Start Doing Now…

  1. Spend time with the right people [people who lift others and don’t tear them down, people who value your worth].
  2. Face your problems head on- that’s the only way you can solve them.
  3. Be really honest with yourself.
  4. Give priority to your own needs.   Help others, but also help yourself.  You are special, too.
  5. Be yourself, even though the world will attempt to make you someone else.  You are exactly the right you for this moment in time- celebrate that “you.”
  6. Let the past go [so you can begin the next chapter in your life.]
  7. Welcome mistakes- they teach you things.
  8. Forgive yourself for every mistake you already made and let it go.
  9. Happiness is a choice, it’s free- you can’t buy it and you won’t find it in all those things you’re buying.
  10. You make your own happiness – other people can’t give it to you and you won’t be happy anywhere or in any relationship until you’re happy inside your own skin.
  11. Be productive- too much time to think can be a bad thing and time wasted is opportunities missed.
  12. Believe you are ready- right now!  Step outside of your comfort zone and go for it!
  13. Enter relationships for the right reasons- because you have taken your time, you don’t need anything from the other person, and together you make each other better versions of yourselves.
  14. Have faith in new relationships- highlight the word “new.”  When you let someone go, let go of all the baggage they left with you.  They had a purpose in your life.  New relationships will have a different purpose. 
  15. Compete only against yourself- meet your own goals and beat your old records.  We don’t judge squirrels on their swimming and fish on their climbing.  We all have different gifts and needs.
  16. Delight in others’ good fortune.  Jealousy is poisonous.
  17. Stay positive- nobody likes to listen to constant complaining.  Feeling sorry for yourself brings you down.  Staying positive brings you up!
  18. Forgive everyone for everything.  Don’t hold onto it for even a minute–grudges hurt only you [trust me on this one].
  19. Maintain your standards of behavior even when others lower theirs.
  20. Own your behavior and decisions- you don’t owe explanations to others [some won’t believe you and others don’t care].
  21. Get off the daily grind sometimes and step back to breathe and take a look.  Sometimes it’s good to take a look at the forest instead of individual trees as they zip past.
  22. Stop and experience beauty with one or more of your senses at least once a day [then let yourself feel gratitude for the moment].
  23. Perfectionism kills productivity and creativity.  Just do it!
  24. Avoid the path of least resistance- greatness is found on other paths.
  25. Be authentic.  If everything is falling apart, you can fall apart and then put it back together again. Strong is sometimes letting others see you at your lowest.
  26. Take personal responsibility for what happens to you.  Your personal choices combined with your attitude determine your reality.  The blame game is so tiring and it discredits you.
  27. Be realistic about what you can accomplish.  When you are spread too thin, you become ineffective and/or useless to yourself and others.
  28. Worry less or not at all – it’s a big joy stealer and we need all the joy we can get.  Worry won’t change things, but your choices from today on can….
  29. Focus only on what you want to happen- that’s the SECRET.  When you dwell on negative, you get more negative.
  30. Every moment of every day you have something for which to be grateful.  Wrap yourself in gratitude, roll around in it like a happy puppy, savor it like chocolate… and your world will transform. 🙂

I took this from the article too [I know, it’s so Oprah, but it is powerful nonetheless]: 

Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

 

H.A.L.T.

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Okay, so if you follow me, you may have noticed that I changed the name of my blog again.  Acknowledged.  And, we are just going to leave it at that.  If you know me, you’ll figure it out.

I wanted to comment on a new acronym I learned from a friend who is in recovery:  H.A.L.T., which stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired.  Sidebar:  I am fascinated by addiction and recovery for myriad reasons.  One, I own that I have addict-like behavior where food is concerned.  I spent the better part of my adult life medicating with sugar/fat and white flour.   Two, I have lived with and loved an addict.  Three, I think the majority of us are addicts in some form or shape, we just use different substances/behaviors to mask our pain–  some people shop, some people take risks or have affairs, some people medicate with food, some people have addictive behavior associated with religion, and the list is endless….

So, I learned that people in recovery use this acronym as a gauge to determine how susceptible they might be to using/falling into addict-like behavior[s].  If you are experiencing at least two of these at any given moment, then you are at risk for relapse.  If you have more than 2, you might need to call your sponsor or head to a meeting.

I have been working on losing weight and gaining optimal health [with the goal of ultimately leaving behind my addictive relationship with food] since October.  I am experiencing success.  It’s up and down, but it’s success nonetheless.  I have had some planned cheats, admittedly some of these turned into snowball situations.  And, I have also had some times when I just went suddenly AWOL for no apparent reason.  Obviously, I continue to have addict style behaviors where food is concerned.  Reflection upon those times where I have gone off the end of a cliff so to speak, shows that I indeed was experiencing at least two of these four apocalyptic horsemen each time I derailed.  Angry is sometimes just frustrated or irritable.  Tired is a big trigger for me.  Lonely is a no brainer- I rarely go off a cliff with witnesses.  Hungry, well, when you’re trying to head off a diet catastrophe, hunger would certainly be a big factor.

TSFL is a plan that helps by making sure that you keep your blood sugar stable and that you eat small and very frequent ‘meals’ [I understand that it’s a stretch to call them meals].  It is also a plan that focuses heavily on community.  Having a coach and a community of support goes a long way to keeping me from becoming lonely and I know that I have people I can call on at any time to talk me off a ledge or alter my perception in a positive way.  I am finding out as I go along, that sleep is more important than I ever imagined.  Research shows that getting less sleep can increase your appetite and make you actually consume more calories.  My motivation and energy wane when I get less than 6 hours of sleep a night, especially over a period of time.  Luckily, this plan and its mild ketosis offers extra energy, but I have to be careful not to get tricked into thinking I don’t need my 7+ hours of sleep a night.  Anger, I have found, retreats during times of mild ketosis and I get into a calm zen state, however, whenever I do choose to cheat and go out of ketosis, I know that I will deal with anger/frustration/irritability again as I walk through that tough place between eating off plan and going back in to ketosis.  Those have been some of my most trying moments.

So, remember H.A.L.T.  whatever your addiction might be.  Keep yourself nourished– physically and spiritually.  Stay in community and relationship with others.  Have strategies to deal with anger and frustrations when they arise.  Love yourself.  ❤