Thank you, Jimmy Fallon

I was watching Jimmy Fallon on a talk show this morning and he was talking about a new book called Thank You Notes where he basically writes satirical thank you notes to people for random things that have caught his attention or caused him some sort of discomfort.  My interest was immediately piqued because I am all about gratitude.  I think that a positive attitude is life changing.  However, just like the next gal, I do get irritated about stuff.  And, I often find myself marveling over the mundane and wanting to share my wonder. Here is a method for either sharing your wonder or your irritation using sarcasm [one of my favor forms of humor] and a way to do it in positive, gratitude-based form.  How cool is that?

Jimmy Fallon reads these on his show.  Here are some of my personal favorites: 

Thank you, guy standing in front of me in the elevator at work this morning who I basically spooned with standing up. If only the elevator was playing some Ke$ha instead that music, I would have been all up in that piece.

Thank you, 2:30 in the morning, for always being the first sign that tomorrow’s gonna suck.

Thank you, beach season, for helping us identify the people completely incapable of shame.

Thank you, marshmallow Peeps, for being somehow much easier to snack on than real baby chickens.

Thank you, me from 3 months ago, for promising that I’ll get in shape during the winter. You lying sack of shit. It’s 4:00, put down the Cinnabon.

So, after hearing/reading some of these I decided to write a few of my own based on a recent trip to NYC.

Thank you, Delta airlines attendants for blithely telling us that bar code on the phone would work when you probably knew it never works.  We got to wait in line for the TSA encounter twice!

Thank you, interesting cab driver who couldn’t pronounce Europe, for dropping us off at the entry point that turned out to be the absolute farthest from the gate we needed.

Thank you, Delta staff, for not telling us there was a shuttle that could have prevented us from dragging our stuff on a mile long trek across terrible carpeting and down halls where the people movers were not moving any people.

Thank you, smelly woman on the plane, for not standing up more than two times and allowing the cloud of funk around you to waft backward toward our seat.

Thank you, subway announcer speaking unintelligible ghetto speak, figuring out which stop we were at and how many more we had to go was like a brain stimulating puzzle and that, along with trying to figure out what the hell you were saying, gave us something to do on the long train ride to Coney Island.

Thank you, crazy rude cab driver #1, for not knowing how to program your little box and using such an unfriendly tone that we decided to find another cab.  The seat belts were buried in the seat and had we stayed in your cab we might have been flung through the windows in an expressway collision on the way to JFK.

Thank you, 80’s boom box toting hoodlum at Nathan’s, we love sitting in broiling hot sun and being deafened by really annoying rap music while we eat our messy hot dogs.

Thank you, Monkey Room, for only putting four shrimp in my shrimp cocktail, at $4.50 per shrimp, I couldn’t have afforded more.

I could go on but I have to go to sleep because my trip wore me out.  Bean, if you can think of any just comment them on here or email me and I will include them.

Oh, and thank you, Jimmy Fallon, for giving me a new and funny way to complain 🙂

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