So, today, I ran across a link on Facebook that was one of those gifts that FB rarely offers up. Here is the link to “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself:”
I loved the pictures and the advice, but I could not help thinking that I would find it so much more effective if it had been stated in positive terms instead of negative [think, The Secret], so I rewrote it. I did it for me, but I thought you might like to have a copy, too. We forget this stuff and it’s so important. I have to daily battle perfectionism, beating myself up for real and imagined failures, trying to do too much for others, and so many more of these toxic behaviors. I forget to be grateful, I find myself complaining, and I allow others to rain on my parade. So, here is my new more positively stated version. You’re welcome :).
30 Things to Start Doing Now…
- Spend time with the right people [people who lift others and don’t tear them down, people who value your worth].
- Face your problems head on- that’s the only way you can solve them.
- Be really honest with yourself.
- Give priority to your own needs. Help others, but also help yourself. You are special, too.
- Be yourself, even though the world will attempt to make you someone else. You are exactly the right you for this moment in time- celebrate that “you.”
- Let the past go [so you can begin the next chapter in your life.]
- Welcome mistakes- they teach you things.
- Forgive yourself for every mistake you already made and let it go.
- Happiness is a choice, it’s free- you can’t buy it and you won’t find it in all those things you’re buying.
- You make your own happiness – other people can’t give it to you and you won’t be happy anywhere or in any relationship until you’re happy inside your own skin.
- Be productive- too much time to think can be a bad thing and time wasted is opportunities missed.
- Believe you are ready- right now! Step outside of your comfort zone and go for it!
- Enter relationships for the right reasons- because you have taken your time, you don’t need anything from the other person, and together you make each other better versions of yourselves.
- Have faith in new relationships- highlight the word “new.” When you let someone go, let go of all the baggage they left with you. They had a purpose in your life. New relationships will have a different purpose.
- Compete only against yourself- meet your own goals and beat your old records. We don’t judge squirrels on their swimming and fish on their climbing. We all have different gifts and needs.
- Delight in others’ good fortune. Jealousy is poisonous.
- Stay positive- nobody likes to listen to constant complaining. Feeling sorry for yourself brings you down. Staying positive brings you up!
- Forgive everyone for everything. Don’t hold onto it for even a minute–grudges hurt only you [trust me on this one].
- Maintain your standards of behavior even when others lower theirs.
- Own your behavior and decisions- you don’t owe explanations to others [some won’t believe you and others don’t care].
- Get off the daily grind sometimes and step back to breathe and take a look. Sometimes it’s good to take a look at the forest instead of individual trees as they zip past.
- Stop and experience beauty with one or more of your senses at least once a day [then let yourself feel gratitude for the moment].
- Perfectionism kills productivity and creativity. Just do it!
- Avoid the path of least resistance- greatness is found on other paths.
- Be authentic. If everything is falling apart, you can fall apart and then put it back together again. Strong is sometimes letting others see you at your lowest.
- Take personal responsibility for what happens to you. Your personal choices combined with your attitude determine your reality. The blame game is so tiring and it discredits you.
- Be realistic about what you can accomplish. When you are spread too thin, you become ineffective and/or useless to yourself and others.
- Worry less or not at all – it’s a big joy stealer and we need all the joy we can get. Worry won’t change things, but your choices from today on can….
- Focus only on what you want to happen- that’s the SECRET. When you dwell on negative, you get more negative.
- Every moment of every day you have something for which to be grateful. Wrap yourself in gratitude, roll around in it like a happy puppy, savor it like chocolate… and your world will transform. 🙂
I took this from the article too [I know, it’s so Oprah, but it is powerful nonetheless]:
Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.